Assembly

“YOU BACK THERE!” the Head screamed,
Arm pointing out straight, menacingly.
“Yes, you, that one there, NO NO!”
A line of heads parted till one had nowhere to go.

“YESSS, YOU,” he sneered,
And then, grinning from ear to ear,
Said “KEEP QUIET, SIT STILL,
OR I’LL TAN YOUR BEHIND, SO I WILL!”

The little boy in question,
Frightened by the unwanted attention,
Started to gibber and cried.
His face a jelly, snot dribbled into his mouth, open wide.

Then a sudden look of distaste,
Crossed the Headmaster’s face.
He roared, “HAVE HIM REMOVED!”
But the mucus had the boy, to that spot, glued.

So the kitchen lady was summoned, and with her lemon yellow gloves,
Sent him on his way with a few hefty shoves.
Out of the door he was cleared,
Or rather “flew”, as he disappeared.

“Now, children”, the Head continued in a softer tone,
“Lets hope that lad stays alone.”
He followed this statement with a meaningful glance,
So meaningful, in fact, ten of the infants wet their pants.

Ignoring this, he continued the gloom,
With : “I’ll KILL THE NEXT ONE OF YOU TO SING OUT OF TUNE!”
So, Miss Smith, oblivious to all,
Continued on the piano to play: My Lord Stands Tall.

In memory of some exceedingly variable school experiences I had. Some assembly’s were particularly tiresome when I was a kid, all hymns, piety and boredom.